It’s come to my attention the obsessive apology-driven world we live in. Maybe it’s just me, but I really feel like we all apologize far too much, like way too much, especially if you’re a woman.
I was walking the other day and I ran into this woman and she goes “Oh, I’m so sorry!” and I thought, ‘What? You’re sorry? I ran into you lady!’
So this is my PSA to all the other ladies out there STOP SAYING YOU’RE SORRY!
I mean obviously if you’re at fault then yes apologize but if you’re just apologizing because you feel you have to say something, then knock it off.
Time is too precious to waste on unnecessary apologies.
Not to mention once you start apologizing for faults that you aren’t responsible for, it becomes a habit. People start to take advantage of you and you’re seen as a doormat. Don’t be a doormat.
take inventory – check yo’self before you wreck yo’self
Taking inventory is keeping your side of the street clean, being accountable for only your actions and not taking responsibility for others – not your parents, not your significant other, not your friends, this is about you only.
If a situation didn’t turn out the way you had wanted you should ask yourself what was your part? How did you play a role in the outcome of events? This will help gauge whether you’re responsible or if the situation is out of your control.
Most of the time, it sucks to admit but we are responsible for some part of an uncomfortable situation. Maybe it’s something we said, maybe it’s something we did, maybe it’s something we didn’t say or do.
Either way, taking responsibility for yourself is huge and will get you very far in life and business.
Interestingly, I’ve found that the people who should be apologizing for something are the ones that don’t and then on the flip side you have people like that poor woman I ran into apologizing on my behalf to herself. What a tangled web we lead!
live life unapologetically – “luke skywalk” on the haters
I’m guilty of this too. And I’ve written about it before, but you can’t please everyone and you can’t obsess over what other people think about you.
Again, not like I have to say this but I will anyway… you can’t be a total jerk and never say sorry. Living unapologetically isn’t telling someone you think their dress is ugly and they’ll never amount to anything and not feel bad about it. You could say that but perhaps phrase it differently which is called tact. Learn it.
Living unapologetically is living your truth and being the best person you can possibly be at all times. It’s pursuing blogging even if the odds are against you. It’s choosing not to get married despite what your parents say. It’s buying a designer bag with your hard earned money. You should never ever apologize for having nice things. #sorrynotsorry
forgive yourself – because you can’t please everyone
I always say no one is harder on yourself than yourself. Personally, there is nothing anyone can ever say to me that I haven’t said to myself already so really if you try to insult me, it’s pointless. We are our biggest critics, that’s just a fact.
Easier said than done, but by forgiving yourself you’re able to move past whatever is plaguing you. Whether it be the fact you took the weekend off from blogging or something you said was misinterpreted, you need to forgive yourself so you can do better next time. I can’t tell you the number of times something I’ve said has been taken out of context but that’s the name of the game. Like I said, you can’t please everyone and when you figure that out it’ll make life a lot less stressful.
As long as you’re doing your best the best way you know how and living with positive intention, there’s not much else you can do. So be kind to yourself. Everything is going to be alright.
Jacket: H&M size 4 (similar) | T shirt: Zara size S (similar) | Jeans: Topshop size 28 | Shoes: Zara size 7.5 (similar) | Bag: Kate Spade | Sunnies: Ray Ban
What’s something you feel guilty about? Not blogging as much as you should? Not returning emails? Not spending time with the fam? Tell me in the comments below.
xx
shop the look
4 Comments
Leicie
10/25/2017 at 11:43 pmThis spoke to me, I think I say sorry literally for everything 🙄 and I don’t even realize it. I could be in the grocery store and just wanting to grab some Kale next to the women grabbing romaine and say? “ oh sorry excuse me” like I’m not even in her way! I loved that you wrote this— I know I don’t count technically hehee but for me I feel guilty about coding the last few days since I have been moving and feeling so out of wack and off routine! Hoping to get back into the swing of things and get back to you!
Brittany
11/08/2017 at 9:51 amYes!! Sorry, is definitely overused and abused for women. You 100% count, don’t ever think you don’t! xx
Rozi
02/28/2018 at 1:34 amI have become so aware of this. I think I always have been but lately even more so. Because I’m aware of it, I do do it less, but still too much. i think as women we are unfortunately taught to be a certain way, even if no one directly tells us to act a specific way, we see it in other women around us while growing up and then emulate it as adults. Today, I was walking and listening to music, I put my head down for 10 seconds (less than that but let’s say 10) to change the song, when I looked up a man with a stroller about to run me over. I apologized and smiled. He looked at me and was about to curse me out. The thing is, that guy was on the other side of the street before I put my head down. So he saw me too, he also saw me lower my head, so why didn’t he move? I’m empathetic because I have a baby too and walking with a stroller is hard, but why do women always have to apologize?
Brittany
03/05/2018 at 9:23 amTotally! That’s a tricky situation because in all fairness you were distracted for a moment but I get what you’re saying and it’s something we have to be more mindful of – really assessing the situation before we jump the gun to apologize for something that had nothing to do with us. Thanks for sharing your story Rozi! xx